Recently I told you that I have really let go of caring about what I eat which maybe you remember me saying. Or maybe you can just tell over the last year or so that I just don’t follow any type of meal prep, meal planning or regular food pattern anymore? Aside from breakfast of course!
It’s not like I don’t have my moments when I suddenly say, WOAH.
Am I eating a lot more than I used to eat?
Does it matter that I NEVER measure my food? I mean, I haven’t done that in years but is my hand too heavy with the peanut butter?
You know, I eat out a whole lot. There’s a lot of dessert and even wine that happens fairly often. I think there are people who choose wine OR dessert. Am I supposed to pick wine or dessert? I always choose both.
And since I haven’t been on a scale in years, these thoughts appear sometimes too.
What do I even weigh these days? What if it’s significantly higher than it was a few years ago? Wait. What did I even weigh a few years ago?
Is what I’m eating going to add up at some point? Is it adding up now? Do I not even notice that it’s adding up?
Then there are times when I catch an old weekly workout recap post and notice I used to run a lot more miles on a regular basis than I am running now.
How did that happen? Why am I okay with running less now? Am I supposed to care about calories in terms of burning them or not burning them? Why don’t I ever think about calories burned while running?
Most of the time, none of this bothers me. I live my life and don’t think twice. If these thoughts happen, it’s during my PMS week. PMS alters my brain to think about things that it normally wouldn’t care to explore and also has the ability to put me on an irrational course. I have realized this though and try not to take myself too seriously during this time.
No matter what pops into my mind or when, I always follow the thoughts with what I will NEVER do. That’s the thing with me – it’s never about what I will do if have thoughts like this, it’s what I know I will never do again!
What I will never do:
I have no intention of EVER owning a scale again. Living my life by a fluctuating number on a scale is a miserable way to live. Since I will never give up running or a workout routine and know how to eat nutrient dense foods and cake on a balanced basis, there’s really no true reason to worry about gaining weight to the point where it will ever need to be monitored. A scale might be good for some but I can’t see it ever being good for me.
I will never go hungry. Was there a time when I used to wait for lunch or dinner time to hit so that I could satisfy my appetite? Like, did I ever let myself walk around hungry because it wasn’t a meal time yet? I can’t even imagine that feeling now. If I am hungry, I don’t really care if I just ate or it’s not lunch time. I am going to find my way to food.
I will never measure my food. I do not like to feel limited and I certainly don’t understand paying attention to the serving sizes for most of what I eat anyway. Who measures out vegetables? Why? Measuring reminds me of restriction. I do not do restriction.
I will never use calorie tracker apps. In all honesty, the time when I tried using My Fitness Pal back when it first came out is also the time I didn’t get my period for several months. Clearly tracking my calories is not a good idea for me and I really can’t imagine every counting a calorie again.
Let’s talk a little bit more about using a scale.
When I stopped using a scale many years ago, I relied on my clothing as my weight/size monitoring system. For the longest time, the mindset was, if things stayed the same (or got big), I was doing well.
We are so trained to think that the only way we know we are doing well is to see the number on the scale go down and for our clothing to get big.
But that’s not really an accurate way of thinking.
For example, I have a cute pair of jean shorts (with rhinestones on the pockets 🙂 ).
I’ve had them for five years and recently decided that maybe they were fitting a little different.
Different would usually mean something changed. I don’t like change.
Yet this time, I noticed that my cute pair of jean shorts had a different fit that was a good different. Not in the falling off different but in the wow these shorts fit me better than ever in all of the right spots different.
This different fit was symbolic for the good balance between eating, living, running and Pure Barre I have going on, without needing to know what I weigh or monitor what I eat every second.
I really do believe that our bodies have a happy, set point range and it doesn’t need me to constantly try to control it.
Maybe for a little while we can monitor every morsel and expend every calorie possible to be under our set point but that is not the way to live. It’s not healthy and definitely not carefree.
Life should have a certain level of carefree, don’t you think?
Posts Of Interest:
So I feel like I talk about this stuff fairly often and probably repeat myself in the process. However, these conversations are important for so many reasons! Sometimes we need to hear things over and over as reassurance and reminders and sometimes, people miss a post on the subject so it’s worth sharing again. Feel free to also check out my Amenorrhea section and as always, contact me if you have any questions!
Quirky Eating Habits or Disordered Eating?
Achieving A Balanced Attitude Towards Your Weight
Finding Balance Between Our Diets & Our Workouts
Do You Really Need To Lose 5 Pounds?
Clothes Should Make You Feel Good
[bctt tweet=”What happens when you stop caring about what you eat #bodyimage #disorderedeating #health” username=”cookiechrunicle”]
Are you someone that steps on a scale every day?
Do you plan out your meals or wing it most of the time?
The Cookie ChRUNicles 
Loved this post! I always tell my clients that the body is really smart and that’s it’s safe to trust it! I hear you about that PMS week, though—I definitely notice I struggle more with negative self-talk about all kinds of things that time of the month. Haha the joys of being female. Thank you for sharing : )
I have really learned not to listen to anything my brain wants to think about during pms!. it’s actually pretty funny to recognize each month when I notice my crazy thought processes approaching lol
I’ve never counted calories in my life EVER. My mom was always on a diet (she still is!) and it was always super annoying to me (it still is!) and so I vowed to love my body and treat it well rather than labeling foods bad or good, or viewing my body as fat or thin. The only time I watch what I eat is when I am pregnant. I don’t even care about my nutrition while training, although I probably should. But… I don’t. I can’t pretend to care! I’ve documented my weight gain during this pregnancy because I want to be a resource for pregnant runners, and weight gain is of such high interest. It’s interesting because I see a specialist, and she is SO unconcerned about weight gain. The scale in her office is actually totally off kilter! It’s SUCH a loose gauge that I don’t even know if she even looks at that part in my chart. I have a friend that gained 13 lb during her pregnancies and had 9lb babies. I also have a friend who gained 80lb in her pregnancies and had 9lb babies. Our bodies will do what they need to do, crave what they need to crave, and it’ll all sort out in the end. I wish with all my heart that my mom would start loving and appreciating her body. She’s in her seventies, so I’m not holding my breath, but it’s never too late.
I still don’t know what I gained while pregnant, all I know is that I gained enough, had a healthy baby and lost whatever I must have gained (and more). I never looked at the scale at my appointments and my doctor was really not one to focus much on the number (like your doctor too!). It’s good that you pay enough attention to eating well while pregnant though! I did my best to eat a lot of eggs I remember because they said they were good for the baby’s brain and then after that, I just ate a lot of pizza and sandwiches to satisfy my savory side.i completely lost my sweet tooth while pregnant! ha
Omg I love this post – I have dealt with scale and calorie-counting obsession and am slowly moving away from these thoughts since I’ve been injured. It’s so freeing to finally eat what you want, when you want, and not have to think about the number on the scale!
Have a great Thursday 🙂
So one thing I hate about looking how to manage my period problems naturally is how the holistic treatments often land on restrictive diets: low carb, no starches, no dairy, no sugar, no gluten, etc. Honestly I could not spend that much time and energy tracking every little thing I eat and restricting so much, especially when I already eat healthy and run and my body naturally sets at a leaner weight without getting too thin. Food should be intuitive and carefree to a certain point and like you said, weight loss can’t be a constant goal. I really like this post a lot.
I love how you noticed that those jean shorts were fitting in the right way. I too haven’t weighed myself in a few years now, and the freedom is unspeakably amazing! This year God has really given me more of a grateful heart for my womanly curves and finally looking like and having a womanly body and all the curves. 🙂 And I will never use a calorie tracker app or measure my food, though I’m sometimes tempted too; I admit that I do sometimes look up calorie counts still, but it’s still a good wonderful journey right now to total intuitive eating.
I am definitely a planner. I don’t weigh myself at all. But I do think that it is important to know yourself and what type of personality you have. I think sometimes people try carefree after being restrictive for so long and kind of go the opposite end. You seem to do wonderfully at the intuitive approach. I am NOT one of those people and I believe that certain methods will not work for everyone. What works for me may have a stigma of being regimented but it makes ME happy and helps me to stay sane. So while I think the carefree word might be used to represent the ideal, that isn’t everyone’s ideal (if that makes sense). Being carefree doesn’t make me happy. Having a plan does. So (in my opinion) to each their own as long as everyone is happy and healthy 🙂
I can relate to absolutely everything you wrote in this post! I’ll go for a long stretch of time where I don’t think about what I’m eating or how my body looks, and then all of a sudden, I wonder if I should be more “careful.” But then I remind myself that the not-obsessing is the food freedom I’ve wanted for so long.
And I’ve noticed my clothes have been fitting right too. Some no longer fit, and that’s okay too.
Thanks for this and the reminder to embrace the freedom!
Whenever I’m tempted to count calories or weigh myself or anything like that, I just remember that my body is way more accurate than my fitness pal at determining its own needs. If I just ignore that mechanism or suppress it, I’m indirectly telling my body that I don’t trust it to tell me what it needs. I once read that feeling fat is feeling fear, anxiety, or tiredness and those are all way more likely to happen to me before I get my period as well. Stupid hormones. Love your posts as always.
hormones do crazy things to us mentally, right? I’m so glad you love my posts, makes me happy. 🙂 have a great weekend
What a thought-provoking post, Meredith. I recently gave up weighing myself every morning, but still step on the scale once a week. Perhaps in time I’ll wean myself further. I try to rely on my body’s sensations of hunger and fullness as to when and how much to eat, but often find it difficult to stop when I’m physically satisfied, so there are times I measure a portion of food if it’s something I tend to overeat.
Thanks again for the great post. I found you through a comment on Hungry Runner Girl. I’ll be back!
~Christie
hi! so glad you found me – have a great weekend!
Such a great reminder Meredith! And it sounds like you’re living your best life and really enjoying this summer, which is the most important thing. I think when we pay attention to our happiness over superficial goals, everything else kind of falls into place.
Love this post!!!
I never comment anywhere (so shy) But I am so glad to have stumbled across your blog & this post in particular.
Getting to this place is so healthy- it’s not even so much not caring as just other things becoming the bigger focus in your life (the way it’s MEANT to be) Food is awesome but should fuel our passions & just adds joy but doesn’t consume or hinder us in any way.
Keep on not caring Meredith- you rule 🙂
thanks so much for commenting on my post – love your thoughts and definitely agree!
Another fabulous post. This topic and things of this nature are definitely your strong point. You manage to get your view across in an excellent way. I know these types of post have got to touch and help people who truly need it. Keep them coming.