Running When Stressed + Recent Meals + Cauliflower Stir Fry

So I have a few meals to share today but I also wanted to chime in with a short little section about running when stressed. It is definitely not easy to run during mentally stressful times in life.

I read Hungry Runner Girl’s post from yesterday (I feel like you probably did too?) and wanted to not only share the link (in case you missed it) but also give my opinion in agreement.

It’s not discussed enough that emotional stress can affect running. Usually, you just hear about physical injuries and ailments affecting a person’s ability to run, not the emotional stress that might be taking place behind the scenes.

I, for one, cannot run if I am upset. Running with emotional stress just doesn’t work well for me. You would think the opposite, right? Because running should always make you feel better? Well, I think that is situational and really depends on the person, day, what’s going on, and how bad you feel.

But walking! I can always walk. If you don’t have the head to run, you should ALWAYS choose a good walk.

During my divorce (which, when at its height and worst emotionally, was now about 10 years ago!), I really could not run. Heck, I could barely make it to the gym some of those days. But I always kept up my routine, even if it meant walking really slow on the treadmill or going for a walk around my neighborhood.

I think I shared this story a long time ago on the blog but I will share it again because I will never forget it.

There was this one super emotional time 10 years ago that I dragged myself to the gym, and as I was walking as slow as a snail on the treadmill, I noticed the lady in front of me on the elliptical.

She was wearing a bright pink nightgown, in the gym, while pedaling the elliptical.

In my darkest of moments, I laughed to myself and even said out loud — well, at least I was able to get dressed to be here.

So the point of my story is, it’s okay if stress keeps you from running. It happens to the best of us. Choose to walk if you can’t run. Walking is so very good for the mind and body. People Runners don’t give walking enough credit. It will make you feel better, even when you think you can’t feel better, and I also think it’s a nice place holder in a routine for those days you mentally can’t run.

Of Interest: Feelings And Life Lessons After My Divorce

Moving on to some food!

I’ve been using the mug that my son bought me for Mother’s Day every morning since Sunday. In fact, on the days that I use my new Islanders mug for tea, I use it all day long, because I refill my mug of hot water for tea over and over. And over.

Let’s look at my Mother’s Day pancakes again because they were so delicious. This plate of pancakes was also the first breakfast for me that wasn’t oatmeal in, well, a really long time. So long of a time that I am not sure when I had something other than oatmeal for breakfast.

Oatmeal Recipes of Interest:

6 Healthy Recipes Using Oatmeal To Try Today

Blueberry Pie Protein Oatmeal

Autumn Oatmeal

Bagels. I have been eating a lot of bagels again lately. Here’s half of a toasted maple raisin multigrain (So good! Local readers, I get the maple raisin multigrain bagels from Town Bagel!) with melted mozzarella cheese and a salad.

This salad below excited me for lunch on Monday because I remembered I had a leftover salad from dinner the night before. I added roasted sweet potatoes, chickpeas, avocado, and feta cheese to the mix.

Our favorite grandma pie from La Piazza. I usually have two (corner) slices but Sunday night, I was still hungry so I had half of another slice which totally put me over the edge. I’m telling you, I cannot eat like I used to. My stomach just doesn’t have the room it did when I ran 40 miles a week.

Here’s a take out version of the barbecue ranch salad from The Cheesecake Factory. It’s rare we take out from The Cheesecake Factory but sometimes it’s a nice option.

And finally, I recently bought the Trader Joe’s Cauliflower Stir Fry in my effort to eat/cook something different. My initial thoughts? It’s good. It’s fine. It’s worth throwing in your freezer.

The stir fry is mildly seasoned (and has corn, peas, and peppers mixed in) but I added broccoli, chickpeas, and avocado. I will keep playing with it and report other ways I eat the stir fry in the next few weeks.

Are you able to run when dealing with emotional stress?

Have you tried the cauliflower stir fry yet from Trader Joe’s?

 

Random Thoughts For This Thursday! (TOL)

I’m still all up in the Royal Wedding details even though it happened last weekend. I’m busy with the pictures and articles, while also doing my British research because I sit curious on things. Like the whole Princess Diana / Camilla thing. We all know the story (or think we know the story) so I needed to google to get more of the story. I’ve needed to update myself on Camilla’s side and history (I still do not like her – does anyone? I don’t think so) as well as remind myself of the specifics from Princess Diana’s point of view.

Did you know that Princess Diana refused to wear anything Chanel because of the CC thing?

CC = Charles & Camilla.

I never knew about this and totally get it to the point where I felt wrong wearing my own Chanel shoes the other day until I realized the double C’s were her issue, not mine.

And a hat. Or fascinator. I need to know which would be my look should I ever get invited to a Royal Wedding, Royal function or Royal whatever. I have yet to see a hat or fascinator that appeals to me but there just HAS TO BE one for my head. For this reason, Heather and I plan to shop for our Royal hat styles when she’s here in New York visiting this summer. You know, just in case.

Oh wait, this text from my son! As soon as I saw it, I made sure to screenshot it for you to see. Remember last week when he attacked me for buying Barbara’s Organic Cookies? Well, look who requested them when I was out food shopping.

While Trader Joe’s sells Barbara’s Organic cereals, they don’t carry the organic cookies. Whole Foods does though so I will be heading back there either today or tomorrow. Are you an Amazon Prime person? Did you know that your Amazon Prime membership now gives you discounts at Whole Foods?! I think I may start shopping at Whole Foods on a weekly basis.

Speaking of weekly basis, I am HORRIBLE with taking in my mail. I’m working on getting better at it but my true hatred for the mailbox never seems to fade away.

It stems from my divorce and all of the times I received unexpected and unwanted mail from my attorney and other things during the process that I really didn’t want to see or deal with. I was speaking with someone currently going through a divorce process (I now offer this service – check it out if you are interested) and she informed me that the courts/lawyers send multiple emails rather than actual mail these days. With red exclamation points to alert the importance. I NEARLY DIED from this information. Who the heck wants to receive notifications like that?! That would be the end of email for me. The only good thing here is that at least you can shut down your email address or pretend you didn’t get it (I‘m sorry your honor, I didn’t receive your email and I don’t know why, maybe the email never went through), you can’t shut down receiving U.S. mail. Believe me, I’ve tried.

On This Day:

5/24/17: Salad Combinations & New Favorite Bagel   – Ohh the maple raisin multigrain bagel! I love that bagel and haven’t had it in way too long!

5/24/16: 8 Mile Workout – I used to come up with some really fun running workouts! I need to get creative again for us.

5/24/15: Memorial Day Weekend/Workout Recap- Red Mango!

5/24/13: Sounds & Smells– Half a decade ago!

[bctt tweet=”Random thoughts On This Thursday! #thinkingoutloud #divorce #wholefoods #royalwedding” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

Are you an Amazon Prime person? Are you going to take advantage of shopping at Whole Foods with the discount? Have you already? Did you save a lot of money?

 

 

Recent Meals + Little Beet + Kidfresh Faves

 

We really haven’t chatted about recent meals in a while!

I absolutely LOVED this vegetable plate from The Little Beet. I picked four different vegetable options as my meal. A Brussels sprouts salad, roasted broccoli (it was so good, tasted like lemon was involved), a beet and lentil salad, and parsnips. In fact, I think this was my most favorite combination ever from The Little Beet. I was there not too long ago (listed in this post) but for some reason, this combo was just so incredibly good.

I’m big on eating wild salmon lately, aiming for once a week. It usually turns into once every two weeks yet still, I try to remember to buy it! This time I cooked the wild salmon with a maple and dijon mustard combo on top. While fish is never my favorite thing (unless it’s hidden in sushi), I do believe in the health benefits of wild salmon so I want to make sure I keep it a part of my diet. Salmon is sort of growing on me.

I bought fresh brussels sprouts and asparagus for the first time in a while. For the longest time, it was routine for me to buy a wide variety of fresh vegetables but then I switched over to mainly frozen vegetables. This happened for a combination of reasons. First, I had been turned off to certain fresh vegetables after being sick with stomach viruses and then I just found that frozen vegetables were easy to store and roasted well in the oven.

However, the fresh brussels sprouts and asparagus were a nice change of vegetables for me and I really enjoyed roasting them for a ton of meals this week. I added the roasted brussels sprouts and asparagus to this salad which also included my lentils and quinoa mix and a base of the chopped power veggies blend from Stew Leonard’s.

After sharing my shrimp in the curtains revenge story yesterday, it seems my personal stories from the divorce time period of my life are much appreciated. I want to try to incorporate more of those life lesson moments and stories in my posts. As I said yesterday though, that can be hard to do regularly on the blog as divorce is not a huge part of daily life anymore. AND, I’m always super careful about what I share. Not only do I think about the privacy of others involved in my divorce process, I also remember that my son may read a post. Which isn’t likely as he thinks my blog is pathetic, but still he might.

ANYWAY.

Here’s a story from my divorce that I never told you before (at least I don’t think that I did) and it relates to food!

The Cheesecake Factory was always my favorite, even way back when I was married. In fact, it was our first date spot in 1999. When things started going wrong in my life and we stopped going out to eat all the time, I refused to go to The Cheesecake Factory for TWO YEARS. Can you believe that?! Once they opened a new location however in our area, my friend took me and I am glad she did. I would never ever allow myself to not go to a favorite restaurant again. While I understandwhy I didn’t want to go, I would never allow myself to miss out on a favorite restaurant again!

How did I survive without my favorite salad for almost two years?

By the way, does anyone wonder what my son eats these days? I used to share more of his meals but he really doesn’t let me take pictures anymore.

I made him “real” meatballs for dinner this week. He labeled my meatballs as real because I used actual ground beef without the addition of anything too healthy or unusual. Just the beef, bread crumbs, an egg, and spices. He said they were terrific.

While I don’t have a picture of the real meatballs, I did want to take a second to show you that my son does still love the Kidfresh product line.

I learned about Kidfresh when I started my blog in 2013. They were one of the first brands that I worked with and I still buy their products today on a regular basis.

Even though my son is in ninth grade, he doesn’t mind eating a “kids” type of meal. In fact, he always asks for it when I go to Target! As a mom, I like Kidfresh because they use a nice set of ingredients with the addition of hidden vegetables.

He really enjoys the Kidfresh chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, pasta with meat sauce. When I can locate it, he also likes their quesadillas. It’s nice for me to have these Kidfresh options on hand for a quick meal or snack that is easy to heat up. I prefer that my son eats chicken nuggets over granola bars as a snack if he’s super hungry. Mini meals are better than empty snacks in my mind, you know?

[bctt tweet=”Talking recent meals on the blog today including lunch at Little Beet plus Kidfresh faves! @kidfresh @cheesecakefactory #thelittlebeet #food #divorce #salads” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

Any moms out there buying Kidfresh for their kids? Do they like it? Which meal is their favorite?

Have you ever stopped going to a restaurant after a break up or divorce because it was too upsetting to go?

Favorite vegetables to roast?

A Personal Story On Revenge & My Ebook is Available!

 

So I want to announce that my Divorce Ebook,  a No-Nonsense Guide To Divorce & Parenting is finally available for download BUT I also know that most of my followers are mainly here to see the food, fitness, fashion, and random life stuff that I share on a regular basis.

Therefore, I’m not going to make too big of a deal or discussion about the 30-page Ebook guide being available (right now for $6.99!) in the top menu bar of my blog.

When I started this blog over five years ago now, I wrote on the topic of divorce more frequently. Over the years, as I become further removed from the divorce process and details, it becomes harder to write daily on the subject. It’s not the first thing on my mind, my situation is no longer active, and really, it’s all SO much more in the past now, especially with the Bar Mitzvah come and gone.

Although, a girl never forgets!

I wanted to share a quick, personal story on revenge from the volatile time period in my life today.

It was June 2009 and evident my divorce was going to be moving forward (we had put it on hold for a year). My life was basically upside down but I went about my usual routine, like the gym (or an outdoor walk) in the morning, plus shopping and lunch with my good pal Lisa while my son was in kindergarten, just to keep that sense of normalcy amid what was looming. You know, things like an emotionally/financially nasty divorce process in court with lawyers, needing to sell my house (and move to where? good question) while also figuring out where my son would go to school in the fall (all based on when/where I moved). And oh, did divorce mean I needed to get a job? 

I was in the car with Lisa (she was driving, I remember so clearly) and we were busy trying to come up with REVENGE. I wanted revenge so very badly.

Shrimp in the curtains. Yes. Shrimp in the curtains. That’s what Lisa found for me the night before as my revenge when she googled a combination of words that probably looked like “revenge for my friend getting divorced.”

While in the car, she told me all about the shrimp in the curtains concept (which was very funny) but we didn’t really know how we were putting the shrimp in curtains. The goal of this revenge concept was to put shrimp in the curtains to hurt the other party under the assumption that the shrimp would go bad and leave a smell that is impossible to remove from an entire house.

So which curtains? Certainly not in my house, that would hurt me! And another house? How was I getting in there to do it? I’m upset but not crazy. I cannot go breaking and entering with fistfuls of shrimp.

As we tried to come up with another concept for revenge because clearly we couldn’t do the shrimp in the curtains concept, Lisa stopped the car and said, “Your happiness is your best revenge.”

And that was that. We proceeded to go food shopping before picking up our kids from school. As much as it all still hurt, she was right.

Happiness is the best revenge.

The whole happiness is the best revenge became a positive mantra for me over those next few years and eventually landed me as a guest on Dr. Oz in 2013 on the topic of healthy revenge after divorce. I totally thanked Lisa for that.

A few reasons for sharing this story today!

1 – I’m always good for a story.

2 – Even in my worst moments, I always find something ridiculous to laugh about. Shrimp in the curtains?

3 – Divorced or not, everyone should realize that happiness is what we should be focusing on, not the negative and not revenge.

4 – My No-Nonsense Guide To Divorce & Co-Parenting focuses on helping others to understand how to pick your battles, accept situations and then deal with them in a positive way. Let go of the negative, it doesn’t help anyone!

While I do not share this shrimp in the curtains story in my guide, I do share a ton of useful information and behavioral tactics  that can help others learn how to effectively communicate in difficult situations while taking a more positive approach to what usually becomes negative.

As stated in my introduction section of the guide (like a disclaimer), please remember that I’m not a lawyer, doctor, therapist, or mental health specialist. I’m just a girl who went through a nasty divorce and came out stronger than before. The advice I offer comes from my own personal experiences, based upon what I learned along the way which can really help not only with how you communicate but how to steer your emotions in a more positive light.

If you are going through a divorce (or know someone going through the process) and/or need emotional help with co-parenting, I do think my guide can be a really helpful resource! It’s an easy read, divided into sections that can be read at any time, without needing to read from cover to cover. So for example, if you just want to refresh yourself quickly on how to effectively communicate without losing your mind, you can turn to that section and read only about that or if you have a day where you need additional help with speaking to your children, you can turn only to those pages.

Let me know if you have any additional questions at all related to the Ebook or to divorce/co-parenting in general! 🙂

[bctt tweet=”Quick story on revenge plus info on my Divorce Ebook being available! #divorce #revenge #parenting #coparenting #health #mentalhealth #divorceebook” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

 

Currently! (March 2018) + My E-book Update!

 

The last Currently post that I wrote was back in October. That’s not okay! Currently posts are a fun way to share some of the things I’m up to, interested in, and doing so I need to write these posts more often!

Currently Watching…

The Islanders season slip away. it’s getting painful although I’m trying my best to toughen up, accept it, and move on to baseball.

Also, Siesta Key ended for the season. Sometimes I feel pathetic that I love an MTV reality series with people who are almost 20 years younger than me but then again, I don’t really feel my age.

So what am I watching? That’s a good question.  I’m waiting for Imposters to start up again April 5 and Younger should start at some point in the spring/early summer.

Currently Wearing….

HEELS. I’m on a mission to wear the heels in my closet whenever I go out at night. At some point I started getting lazy in the heels and high wedge department and that needed to change. A girl should wear her heels!

Currently Craving…

I would like a repeat of my dinner of Thursday night at Rothmann’s please. Gosh I have always LOVED Rothmann’s. I also really love going out for nice dinners on Thursday nights. It’s not something I do as often as I did a bunch of years ago (Thursday nights became a regular out for dinner night after my divorce) but I think it’s time to try to bring Thursday night back when I can.

Rock shrimp tempura in a spicy peanut sauce was delicious but I need to always be mindful of how much “tempura” I eat because my body doesn’t love fried food. A little bit I can handle, more than a little bit can upset my stomach.

Rothmann’s makes a true quality sushi roll. Note the onion strings on the table. Uh huh, more fried food but I LOVE onion strings!

Current Excitement…

I told you scrunchies were back! Do you know that I let out a high pitch happy giggle when I spotted this scrunchies display at Francesca’s the other day?! I was only in the store to kill some time before picking my son up from the gym and I was so pleasantly surprised!

Definitely get this pack or this pack! I love the velvets!

Currently Ordering…

I’m so NOT an online shopper BUT sometimes I do get inspired (and carried away).

Bloomingdale’s had one of their sales this weekend (buy more save more!) so I ordered a few new things!

I had been waiting to get these  Splendid Sccop Neck Camisoles (I bought the black and the white) plus I ordered these Juicy Black Label Studded Joggers and this cute white off the shoulder dress for summer.

I try to stick to classic wardrobe staples and quality brands because then I know I can count on durability and the ability to wear what I buy season after season. This way, if I spend a little more, I know it’s worth it.

Currently Can’t Believe…

I was a guest on Dr. Oz exactly 5 years ago!! I wrote this post as a recap of my experience 5 years ago today. How crazy is that?! Did you know I was a guest on Dr. Oz?!

This picture of me in the dressing room with my half-opened eyes (it was early!) is so funny to me. I remember sitting there like it was yesterday waiting to be taken back for hair and makeup before getting dressed to be on air.

I was a guest on Dr. Oz to discuss the topic of “healthy revenge after divorce”. The timing of the anniversary of my Dr. Oz experience is so ironic in a way because I’m currently in the process of finalizing my No-Nonsense Guide To Divorce and Co-parenting E-book so that it can be available for download! I wrote the guide a few years ago when I was given the e-book deal on this topic. Long story short, I took over the rights to publish it myself — but then never did.

Until now. I decided it was finally time to get this guide ready and out there so that my readers who are going through a divorce and learning how to co-parent can benefit from my experiences!

I’m REALLY excited about this! When I read through my draft over the weekend, the content is still bringing tears to my eyes. It’s not that it’s sad, it’s more that I cannot believe I wrote it and that I wrote it SO WELL. I just know that the content in my e-book guide will help people because the words still help me!

I will share more about this when it’s ready. 🙂

[bctt tweet=”Currently for March 2018 including what I’m watching, wearing, eating, and excited about including the upcoming release of my divorce and co-parenting e-book guide! #currently #fashion #food #divorce #droz” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

How was your weekend? Best thing you ate?

What’s are you currently watching, eating, ordering, and/or excited about?

 

Bar Mitzvah: A Year Later + Excuse To Eat Cake

 

I can’t tell you how many separate drafts I started for today’s post. The fact that the Bar Mitzvah was a year ago now had me feeling all sorts of nostalgic emotions leading up to this past weekend and I didn’t really know how to address it.

^From the Friday night Shabbat/Bar Mitzvah services.

On one hand I just can’t believe how the year has flown by and on the other, I can’t help but reflect on the details of the party including the major emotions that were brought up that night.

^I absolutely put my pretty dress on over the weekend. Glitter heels for life!

I cannot recall one word or section from the speech that I gave about my little boy. I am in a total block which is so unlike me. I can tell you word for word the posts I have written not only for my blog since 2013 but AllSeated’s blog too.  But my speech? Not a clue.

So as this weekend hit, I was like OKAY, we are now a year out from the Bar Mitzvah weekend. A party that I completely paid for in full with no debt to my name. A party that had a few decor items go wrong (which I still think about way more than I should even though I know nothing ever happens 100% according to plan) and serious divorce related situations that I had to face and swore I would never fully recover from in my life.

^This is the welcome board that the decor company forgot to put out at the start of the party. They also forgot to display the sign in board! Both boards ended up being set up super late and this one was positioned by the water bottles that were given out at the end of the night. I won’t even discuss that they messed up the sizing of the giant canvas photos or that one of them looked wrinkled in their placement. Or that we noticed the props missing from the photo booth. This is one part Mitzvah mom craziness and one part working in the event industry that still has me focused on these issues!

But see, over the past year, I did recover. In fact, what sticks with me now most of all from the Bar Mitzvah are the hysterical, fun moments from the party rather than the drama I described in the post, My Story To Tell. 

^The three of us are still laughing our way through life. You have no idea. Even yesterday, Meghan and I somehow got through Target without wetting our pants while laughing. We shouldn’t be allowed out in public.

That’s me though. Always one to remember to good over the bad, the funny over the difficult. Life is too short to focus on anything negative, not to mention, negativity is unproductive and quite the downer. It’s pretty crazy sometimes for me to look back to see I am a much stronger person for what I went through during my divorce and even for what I went through at the Bar Mitzvah.

I will forever be the type of person who is grateful for the little things too. Like the sweatshirts we gave out as party favors. I don’t even care how much I paid for them at this point, they were worth every penny because every time I wear it, I am so proud.

I am so proud of my son for his years of dedication to Hebrew school and his amazing ability to read from the Torah AND proud of myself for putting together such an affair and pulling it off. My divorce was not easy, planning/hosting a Bar Mitzvah under my set of divorced conditions was not exactly simple either. But I did it and lived to tell about it. The sweatshirt washes really well too! The orange on the sleeve never fades and it doesn’t shrink!

Some of the Bar Mitzvah decor still lays around the house and I have no intentions to putting it away. The candy table sign is still in my kitchen.

The giant 3D version of the logo sits in my parents house. I wonder what they plan on doing with it.

If you are interested, here’s the link to the Bar Mitzvah spotlight featured on AllSeated which discusses the more technical side of the planning process.

I don’t think I ever mentioned that Heather not only came up from Florida for the Bar Mitzvah to keep me sane but provided the linens from her company, Atlas Event Rental. She helped me throughout the planning process and worked with my decor company (and with my friend Dina, who is an event planner aside from being one of my closest friends) to coordinate the linens and pillows for the lounge along with my color scheme and decor items.

I never in a million years thought Heather and I would work in the same industry but we do and it’s so funny to me! This photo doubles as an event industry photo because Heather, Tiffany, Dina and I are personal friends AND industry colleagues too. Life is so funny like that!

So the plan for this weekend was to watch the Bar Mitzvah video and eat cake. I celebrate everything I can with cake, you know that by now. Life is too short not to celebrate with cake!

So I picked up a chocolate layer cake (chocolate fudge frosting, vanilla cake with a layer of chocolate buttercream and a layer of chocolate fudge) from the bakery and watched the Bar Mitzvah video.

My son doesn’t love to watch it but I have gotten better at allowing myself to enjoy it.

I can see in my face at times during the video that the drama and emotions were trying to take over and at first, that was hard to watch. It wasn’t easy for me to relive the night via video but over time now, the wonderful parts from the party and seeing all of the kids have fun is what sticks out most.

This is who really matters anyway. Sometimes in the planning of a Bar Mitzvah party, you get lost in the details and outside noise rather than focus on what the celebration is really about.

^I was really happy with how the candle lighting display came out! And I am so glad that I added those giant fans to the stage you see in the background. They were a last-minute addition and totally worth it.

To be honest, the only part of the video I have yet to watch is the service. It’s a shame because my son took over his service like no Bar Mitzvah boy ever has (even the Rabbi said it) but I can’t watch it yet. I think the service was the hardest part for me (which I mentioned in the My Story To Tell post) and I’m just not ready and may never be ready to look at myself during that part of the night. This is probably why I can’t remember my speech, I’m blocking that portion of the party out!

[bctt tweet=”The Bar Mitzvah: A Year Later #barmitzvah #events #eventplanning #divorce ” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

3 things you did over the weekend? Best thing you ate?

How do you like to celebrate anniversaries? Anyone else use it as an excuse to eat cake?

 

Feelings & Life Lessons After Divorce

 

I often receive emails from readers seeking advice and support regarding divorce. It’s not even just readers these days that I’ve been talking to often about marriage troubles and divorce processes, my friends have been going through things too.

Lately I’ve noticed that I keep coming back to the same feelings and realizations about divorce with both my friends and readers.

I decided to make a post out of these feelings which came out to be a list of life lessons after divorce. Although, I do think the lessons can speak to anyone,  not just us divorced people!

It Happens.

When you find yourself suddenly in a place of I’m living a normal married life to OMG what is happening here, this cannot be happening to me — please realize that yes, it happens.

I felt as though I was only person to go through a divorce. Maybe that’s because no one I knew at the time was divorced but the reality is, it happens more than we sometimes realize.

It’s no wonder to me now that my divorce attorney seemed so UNPHASED by the details of my divorce. While I was all OH MY GOODNESS CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS, he was all calm, cool and collected as if I told him something boring, routine and basic.

My story was just another big folder in his stack of case files. He saw this stuff every single day. It was not uncommon at all! The stories may vary but the reasons and developments are all very much the same.

You Don’t Know What Goes On Behind Closed Doors

From the street, my house looked so pretty. Nice cars filled the driveway and people would stop to take pictures of the work we did in order to make their home look like our home. I would sit by the window and laugh. You have no idea what’s really going on in here!

You never know what goes on behind closed doors so don’t compare yourself to the smiling happy pictures on Facebook. More often than not, there’s a lot taking place behind those grins which half the time ARE FAKE.

In fact, I have a good friend who would post the OMG WE ARE SO HAPPY!!! pictures on Facebook while simultaneously texting me that she’s crying over her marriage crumbling.

Nothing is Black and White.

The older I seem to get, the more gray area I find in almost every situation.

No two marriages will function the same just as no two divorce processes will run the same course.

Your viewpoints and opinions will change over time.

Things you thought you would never do you may find yourself doing.

Situations you would never put yourself in, you are now in. Willingly.

Don’t rule anything out and don’t judge others because you just don’t know the whole story or what you would do if you were in their shoes.

Strength Comes From Experience.

They say what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger and I am living proof of this. I know very well that I am a much stronger person after going through the years of my divorce and it’s a strength I keep in mind whenever anything else challenging comes my way.

While of course I wish I didn’t go through what I did, I can sit here today and say that my divorce experience has made me a much stronger and wiser person.

We All Have Our Own Time Table

Looking back, the only thing I wish I could change is finding my strength to walk away sooner. People always say that I am the strongest person they know but the reality is, it takes less strength to hold on than it does sometimes to let go.

I never wanted to say WHAT IF so I lingered, trying everything I could to make things work. Sometimes things aren’t supposed to work forever though and that’s something I now realize.

We all have our own time-table in terms of how easily we are able to move on and I cannot regret that it took me longer than it may have taken others had they been in my shoes.

Related: I’ve gotten much better at times of letting go and moving on which is something I wrote about in my last dating after divorce post.

Wisdom Is A Beautiful Thing

I learned a whole lot going through a divorce and it’s a wisdom I am now extremely proud of and can’t imagine living without.

I always say that I could eat some people alive just based upon my life in my 20’s and early 30’s. I did a lot of living early on which got so dramatic with a four-year divorce process to cap it all off. The financial and emotional details of it all is more life experience than some will ever encounter.

However, what I learned and continue to learn from what I went through now only enhances my life in a positive way. I am able to help my friends (and readers!) who are going through various types of situations and my knowledge on so many random and convoluted subjects can only be attributed to dealing with my divorce.

Good Things Can Come From Bad

When I was married, I was a stay at home mom. A total house wife.

I never intended on working ever again and probably wouldn’t have needed to had we stayed married which means the career I have built for myself would never have come to be.

Ten years ago, if you told me I was going to become a writer that not only has a blog with people who want to read what I have to say but also get paid for writing it, I never would have believed you.

A career in the event industry? A career I basically built for myself because I started writing this blog which gave me a resume filled with my writing which attracted companies?

None of this would have had happened if I was still married. At least I don’t think so.

Love my job!

I also met so many people along the way. Friends and relationships that never would have formed had I stayed married. I can’t imagine my life without these people now which makes me realize how lucky, in some ways, that my divorce even happened.

Of Possible Interest:

My Story To Tell – Not an easy post to write but it definitely goes into more detail about my divorce and how it related to my son’s Bar Mitzvah. It also includes another great list of life lessons.

I hope this post of life lessons after divorce helps someone else going through the process. As always, please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions!

[bctt tweet=”Life Lessons after Divorce #divorce #life #lifelessons ” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

How do you feel about what you see on social media? Do you know people who try to make things look better than they really are?

Learn any life lessons recently?

Not A Real Adult, I Hate Paperwork & On This Day

 

Oh, hi June 1. So nice to see you.

June 1 has always been a big deal to me because it means my birthday is only four days away.

That’s right. My 39th birthday is on Monday!

I am not so sure that one is still supposed to be all exclamation point about their birthday at this age but I can’t help it. The little girl in me still sees sprinkles and Hello Kitty party plates this time of year.

Do I look 39? What does 39 even look like anymore?

39 sounds like a real adult which certainly I am not. You know how I know I am not a real adult?

I hate paperwork.

Any kind of paperwork makes me freak out. Like for health insurance, camp health forms and anything requiring me to be the lead adult in charge of filling things out? It makes me nuts.

All week I have been dealing with paperwork. It wasn’t enough to have tax season paperwork behind me. Ohhh no.

Now it’s all about the multiple summer camp forms which involve a process of completing multiple online forms with electronic responses. Then there’s the separate downloadable forms which I can never find in my computer once downloaded in order to print out.

Not to mention, my printer is so hormonal that it can’t be relied upon to print so even when I actually locate the forms in my computer, I rarely get anywhere.

Once printed, the forms need to be filled out and signed by the doctor which requires us to actually go to the doctor for the camp check up. I then leave the camp forms with the pediatrician to fill out and pray that I have a stamp for him to use to mail me the completed form.

I never have stamps. Only real adults have stamps at all times.

And let’s not forget the additional form I needed notarized plus the phone calls I’ve had to make to the health insurance regarding immunizations and what not.

The WORST part of my paperwork moments as of late has been the passport application for my son. He needs a passport for this summer’s camp program and the form requires permission from both his mother (that’s me) and his father (that’s my ex-husband).

Do you know what it’s like coordinating paperwork and signatures between two divorced people and actually getting it done in a timely fashion?

Do you know how most of the paperwork in my life requires me to dig out my divorce agreement because I ALWAYS need to reference one of the sections? Can’t the government and people in charge of paperwork processes leave me alone already with referencing my divorce? Can’t they flag the fact that I’m divorced universally in all systems for future reference so we don’t need to rehash it every time something requires my signature?

This is 39 I guess.

On This Day:

6/1/16: What I Ate Wednesday

6/1/15: Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Protein Cookies  – Also known as one of the best cookie recipes I ever created!

6/1/14: Running Recap & Linda’s Fudge Cake

[bctt tweet=”I am totally not a real adult & I hate paperwork! #thinkingoutloud #divorce #adult #paperwork #camp #onthisday” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

Are you good about paperwork or does it make you nuts too?

Any other June birthdays coming up? What kind of cake will you be having?

 

 

5 Highlights From The Week

 

Happy Monday. 🙂 

I have 5 highlights from the week to share today!

AllSeated’s blog was listed in the Top 100 Event Planning Blogs last week! As you may already know, I handle all sorts of content and social media for AllSeated. AllSeated’s blog, which is one of my main responsibilities, is my baby. I take their blog seriously, just like I do my own blog, so seeing it recognized within the event industry made me really proud.

Last week also saw the opportunity for me to return to freelance writing on the topic of divorce. I used to do a lot of freelance writing on the topic of divorce and then slowly got away from it. The divorce topics I used to write about don’t flow as easily as I become more removed from that part of my life. However, my perspective now and ability to look back emotionally removed may give me new insight to work with!

The real highlight of my week may have been receiving this email from Pure Barre letting me know I may have the opportunity to be a beta tester for their workouts!

I filled out the form as soon as I received the email. They are taking the first 200 responses and will let us know within a week!

I finally started going through the Bar Mitzvah pictures from the photographer in a serious way. It has taken me some time but I am ready to figure out which pictures we want for albums and portraits.

I came across this picture and can’t pinpoint when it was taken during the party. When did I even sit down? Maybe during the viewing of the photo montage? Did I ever tell you that at some point while watching the photo montage, I realized the décor company NEVER set up the sign in board for the start of the party? I am telling you from industry and personal experience, no event will ever go 100% as planned.

There were several sporting events to watch on television Saturday so we brought dinner home from The Cheesecake Factory. After a crazy busy day of driving all over the place, I was happy to be home. And, extra happy to watch the Rangers lose big in overtime. Playoff hockey at its finest!

I am not sure who to blame for packing my Linda’s Fudge Cake upside down but I was able to eat it anyway just fine.

[bctt tweet=”5 highlights from the week! #purebarre #divorce #AllSeated #barmitzvah #weekinreview #cheesecakefactory” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

 Linking up with Meg’s Week In Review today!

Any highlights from your week that you wish to share?

Do you like to eat your cake with a spoon or a fork? I prefer a spoon. 

Best thing you ate over the weekend?

My Theme Song, Loyalty & On This Day

 

 

I’ve got an oldie but GOODIE added to my running playlist this week!

It’s fascinating to me that I didn’t already have this classic song on my playlist already. I mean, Blu Cantrell’s Hit ‘Em Up Style was basically my theme song for a while there during my divorce. I really should have had my lawyer play this song every time I entered the Supreme Court for my divorce appearances to lighten things up a bit.

These days I giggle my way through this song but there was a time when the words were reality and reality was not very funny.

It’s nice to know I can laugh now and oh boy do I laugh every time I hear it while running. Do you realize how hysterical this song is?

On the topic of running playlists, I still use Pandora a whole lot while I run. Lately, and this week especially, the app has not been working very well. Anyone else having this issue?

So you may have seen on Instagram that I am still busy doing bad things to the Dunkin Donuts Rangers coffee cups. Of course I see myself as a little bit pathetic here but I honestly can’t help it.

My passion and loyalty for my Islanders runs super deep. Even when they miss the playoffs, even when they continue to let me down year after year, they are my team which means the Rangers are the enemy at all times. Just seeing a Rangers symbol makes my blood boil.

I now keep a black Sharpee marker in my car so that I can quickly poke fun all over the Dunking Donuts coffee cups as soon as I receive it. And then, I share a picture of it on Instagram to make myself feel better and make any Rangers fan who may encounter my post, feel annoyed.

What can I say, hockey rivalries bring out the best in me. I am a loyal fan and this is what loyal fans do, okay?

On This Day:

4/27/16: Long Island Half Marathon Over The Years –  The signs for road closures and commercials on TV have already started for the half next week! I feel a little weird not running it this year but it’s nice to look back at the races from the last few years to see where I was in life at the time.

4/27/15: Meatless Monday Stir Fry Bowls – Yum, I still make this recipe often.

4/27/13: Comfort Is Key – This post feels so old to me! I had just bought my first pair of Pro Compression socks and started wearing the Brooks Glycerin’s. Too bad I didn’t find my Adidas Energy Boosts sooner!

[bctt tweet=”My theme song, Islanders loyalty plus On This Day #thinkingoutloud #divorce #playlist #running #onthisday #islanders #hockey #dunkindonuts” username=”cookiechrunicle”]

Do you have specific running playlists that you listen to all of the time or do you use an app? Anyone still use Pandora?

Are there any major sports rivalries in your area? Which teams?

What’s on today’s workout agenda?