To Race or Not To Race

Sometimes the questions that come out of my son’s mouth shock me.

“How do you do all that you do and do it so well?”

This question really came out of left field. I think it may even contain a compliment.

The answer is, I don’t know how I do all that I do and sometimes I am not quite sure that it is all being done so well. I just keep going and do my thing hoping everything just works out the way it is supposed to.

Life is interesting; you can have an idea of how you want it to play out, you can use a weekly, monthly or even yearly calendar and try to map out your workload, meal plans and exercise routines. You can make your reservations, mark the important dates in your book and try to live life according to “YOUR PLAN”.

But does it really work that way? Not exactly. With everything in life so unpredictable, it isn’t rational to believe everything will go and flow the way you want it to or the way you planned it.

I am super organized. I am a planner. But the truth is, I give myself plenty of wiggle room. I don’t sweat the small stuff and try to be as spontaneous as possible.

Sometimes though, I have moments that frustrate me when I want things to go according to my plan.

It is fall race season. I have some dates marked on the calendar, a few more races in the back of my mind and a few totally paid for.

And…My mind is questioning all of these plans.

I may not run all of these races, if I run any of them at all. Although I really can’t miss the Hershey Park Half. Who turns away from chocolate?

Ever since the 5-mile race in Long Beach on Labor Day, I can’t seem to shake one of the thoughts that crossed my mind as a ran.

“Why can’t I just run leisurely around my neighborhood? Why do I feel the need to run in these races?’

My son would also like to know why I pay to run when I can run for free outside our house.

While I know crazy things like this cross our minds when we are pushing ourselves during races, I can’t help but think there is more to this for me right now.

I am quite proud of myself for each run I have accomplished, each race I have completed and I am super proud for finishing second in my age group and 68th overall in this past race.

But I don’t run to win races or to beat anyone (except that guy that likes to try and run on my path). I run because I enjoy it, because it is my me time and my favorite form of exercise.

The races have been an added bonus and something is missing right now from the whole excitement of them.

I used to get all excited to train, taper, prepare, run and recover. Now? Not so much. I don’t feel the same excitement.

I feel guilty at the moment because I am not injured in any way (please let’s knock on wood about this statement). When I injured my shoulder back in April, I was more concerned about being KT Taped enough to run the Fitness Magazine Half Marathon that week rather than actually having an arm that was able to bend and raise more than a centimeter in the air.

Right now I am just not feeling the joy; I am more feeling, “Ugh, a race? Really? I don’t feel like it, I should feel like it but I don’t. Do I really have to?”

The funny thing is, my runs lately have been great. In fact, I had a fabulous and easy run yesterday. A bit over 5 miles, all run in negative splits averaging somewhere in the low 8:00 min/mile range.

I don’t know exactly what is going on with me all I do know is that races at the moment are not all that appealing.

I feel satisfied just running. Outside my front door.

Perhaps my mood has something to do with everything else that I do. Mentally I am on writing overload – besides chatting each day with you, I am working on a few other writing projects as well as trying to finish up my certification in Nutrition for Optimal Health, Wellness and Sports Performance. It is a lot.

And while I don’t stress much, perhaps the stress is playing out in other areas.

The last thing I want is for running to begin to feel like a chore. Nothing we enjoy should feel like a chore.

If anything you once enjoyed begins to feel like housework, time to re-evaluate.

Anyway, enough of this talk. I will figure it out, just like I figure out everything else in life that is thrown in front of me.

To my Jewish friends who are fasting for Yom Kippur, I wish you an easy fast and a nice slice of chocolate cake along side your bagel when you break fast.

And, to my Healthy Living Blogger friends who are at the Healthy Living Summit this weekend, have a great time!

Enjoy your weekend!

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I NEED TO KNOW:

Anyone else ever find that races start to lose appeal? Is it just a phase?

Are you fasting for Yom Kippur?

Are you at the Healthy Living Summit? If you are, I am so jealous!