Guys don’t like girls who are too thin.
It’s the truth. Ask them. They will tell you.
So why is it that girls feel they must maintain a sickly thin figure in order to be attractive?
Where does this mindset come from?
While I know it’s important to love yourself and not care what others think, let’s be real.
Girls like to feel attractive and will do what they can for guys to notice.
NEWSFLASH!
Guys like girls who have a shape. They don’t want you to be rail thin with no figure.
Guys want girls who have some meat on their bones. They want to go out to eat with you and see you enjoy your meal, not pick at lettuce or say you can’t share dessert because you are full.
Guys basically want you to be everything you seem to be fighting against.
I have honestly never been someone to care what anyone ever thought of me so listening to the opinions of others was never high on my radar. However, there have been a few times when guys that I know have told me when I was looking too thin.
At first, I didn’t really see or hear what they were saying but eventually it clicked one day and made a whole lot of sense. I even think I am a better person with an even more balanced outlook because of it.
I want to share their opinions with you in my attempt to help you to see that you don’t need to keep starving yourself to maintain an unhealthy, unrealistic and unattractive figure.
You don’t need to worry so intensely about your calorie burn or keep monitoring the scale.
The likelihood is that the numbers on the scale that you are so desperately fighting are the same numbers that would actually give you a cute and desirable shape.
Guy #1
Let’s start with this story from oh, 2012 – 2013. My friend was (and still is) a major health and fitness buff. When I belonged to Lifetime, I would see him at the gym on a regular basis. He was dedicated to his spin and yoga routine and ate a super healthy diet.
Many would call him a jerk, a charmer, a real ladies man if you will. He is brutally honest and has a wandering eye. This description doesn’t sound too nice but it’s the truth. That’s him.
Out of nowhere one day when I was on the treadmill, my friend came to talk to me (probably to tell me who he was newly dating while still dating the spin instructor – don’t ask) and the first thing he said was, “you are looking way too thin.”
Who would have thought that this guy would ever find any girl too thin?
But see, that’s the mindset, right? We think guys never see girls as too thin.
But they do.
And he was right, I was too thin. I had lost some weight after switching to a meatless diet. It was not intentional but it happened. As I lost some weight, I lost my shape and MY PERIOD and clearly, it was noticeable.
Guy #2:
This guy has been in my life for a super long time. Never one to share much of an opinion, he did tell me a few years ago that I needed more meat on my bones.
I didn’t agree with him as I definitely had meat on my bones and had been taking Pure Barre classes on the regular for a few months at this point.
He wasn’t totally right but he wasn’t wrong either. It took some time for me to totally regain my shape and look stronger after being too thin in 2012-2013.
Are you following along here? Life isn’t about being so thin that you can wear the smallest size available.
Guys don’t care about that! They want to see shape, figure and substance to your body!
Women are supposed to have curves!
Guy #3
This guy in particular holds the most weight (no pun intended) because he has told me over and over AND OVER how much BETTER I began to look once Pure Barre was kicking in to my appearance.
So often he reminds me how thin I had looked one night when wearing jeans in 2013, how my legs were barely there.
Never in my life would I have considered my legs to be barely there but I think he was right! I still wear those jeans today, only now I fill them out nicely. 🙂
His honesty and constant open discussion on this topic has probably helped me to fully grasp and understand the other opinions I had received over the years.
The sincerity in his words that explain how great I look now as opposed to then sticks with me every single day, including when I put my old jeans on and notice that different fitting feeling. I no longer have that moment of caring about it and I think I owe it to him.
Guy #4:
This guy adds an interesting twist to this post because he is the only one to think I was fabulous when I was too thin.
Why did he think this way? Probably because he was disordered himself! He went to the gym every single day for 3 hours a day, taking MAYBE one rest day every few months and only because of illness.
He was not a muscle head or healthy eating nut, just a guy who was obsessed with his workouts and appearance.
It is no surprise to me that his ex-wife is a compulsive exerciser, working out for a couple of hours in the morning and then again in the afternoon. Rumor has it she has a bike set up in her living room so that she can peddle while she watches television. Plastic surgery is not foreign to her either.
Important note:
There are no images in this post on purpose. I started to go through my old photos but realized that sharing them may cause too much comparison and possible triggering. That’s not good for anyone.
This post is meant for my reader friends who struggle to see that gaining needed weight back is more than okay. It is for my reader friends who struggle to realize it’s okay to eat and not be sickly thin. That it’s super okay and actually more desirable to have a real figure rather than struggle to maintain a too thin and bony appearance.
I still remain strong in believing that we must love and value our own opinions of ourselves above anything but sometimes, we don’t see what others see and maybe we should.
This does not mean we should tolerate people who put us down or criticize our appearance. There is absolutely no room in life for people like that.
You are the company you keep, remember that.
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Thoughts on this subject?
The Cookie ChRUNicles 